It was Open Farm Day today and, although I didn’t visit any farms this year because of the weather,  it made me think…..its been a year since I started this blog - my very first post was about the Open Farm Sunday last year.  I was intending it to be somewhere to put down my thoughts on a page, random as they are at times, but seems to have become more of a log of things I have done than anything else.  I don’t suppose this is altogether a bad thing, but seems a bit more shallow than my first intention!

Its been a while since I posted - I haven’t abandoned Project 52 though, I’ve still been taking the photos, just struggled to find the time to post them.  Life goes on at such a speedy pace sometimes, the blog has been a bit stop and go, but then that is how my life is, so probably an accurate reflection.  Recently I have been to Nene Valley Railway with Plus, been occupied with WASH bits and pieces and meetings, got stuck into some gardening -everything on my windowsill that needed to go outside now is, apart from the tomato plant(let)s - and tried to cope with the effects of thinking that gaining more qualifications would be a good idea!

The thing that has occupied my spare time most at the moment has been the college work - a course I started in September last year is shortly coming to an end with the inevitable set of exams.  One exam I sat in December, and managed to pass - this was on a subject which I could relate to as far as my work goes, which was a great help.  Now this is followed up by learning about such thrilling stuff as costings, short and long term decision making, and reports and returns.  Each unit (there are three in this course) involves a “skills test”, and Units 5 and 6 also have exams.  On top of this I have to complete health and safety and working with computers skills tests too. 

When I first started studying part-time, alongside working, a couple of years ago, I was questioning whether I was still capable of learning new stuff - I’ve proven to myself that I am, but what I find now is that I am treating the exams themselves far more seriously than any I took at school.  This is probably a good thing, as far as actually revising goes, but at school I had fewer worries and responsibilities outside of the classroom than I currently do and I now find myself getting far more stressed about exams than maybe I should do.  I find that I struggle to retain the information I need to do the exams, despite sometimes having only read it a few days beforehand. 

It seems that everyone around me has more confidence in me than I do, and I am not sure who is right - is it them, because I constantly doubt myself even when I am capable, or is it me because I do actually know my limitations?  Time will tell, and I know that I didn’t represent myself especially well in the Unit 7 skills test - I will shortly find out how much I need to do to rectify this - in the meantime I am setting myself serious study time to prepare for the exam next Monday and the skills test the day after.  Thats about all I can do, and then I will find out who knows me better, my friends and work colleagues, or myself.

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